Five Ways to Tell if You Were Born in the 70s (#2)

Back after a hiatus. Kind of like when Archie Bunker's Place went away for "retooling". Actually bad example, because that came back even crappier...

How many do you recall?

* Console TVs - We had a nice one in our living room. Integrated speakers, lovely faux-wood paneling (to prevent fall-apart), and a built-in stereo - which had both a record player and an 8-track. Avant garde no doubt.

And true to DL Hughley's stand-up, when it finally died, we kept in the room, and just sat a newer tv on top of it.

Back story - it had a remote, but when that went on the fritz, I filled in admirably as a "human remote." This consisted of sitting near the tv, to the side (never in front of it, unless I was keenly intent on an a**-whipping), while my Pop had me do a full run of the channels - all 11 of them.

* Coca Cola Rugby Shirts - Sweet. I'm from the Benetton generation, and nothing said we're all children of the world more than wearing corporate pablum on your chest. And I don't even like Coke (gives me the wind something awful).

* Intellivision - Proof positive that I can apply myself when the stakes are high. I earned an Intellivision (and a copy of NFL Football - animated stickmen at a jaw-dropping 3-5 frames per second) by averaging 95 percent on my mid-term exams in the seventh grade.

* NJTL - The National Junior Tennis League. Pleased to know it's still in existence. I spent my tween summers playing tennis for the Ramsey Rec Center. It kept me and my brother out of trouble while Mom was at work, and I actually got pretty good at it, believe it or not.

* Run DMC - I remember walking through the quad during break during freshman year, and my buddy Orson had a tape made by these two guys from St. John's University. I'd never heard anything like it. The beats, the stuff they talked about. Granted, Grand Master Flash had gotten socially relevant years earlier with "The Message," but Run DMC made hip-hop accessible in a way other MCs had not.

Per their instructions, I pulled the shoestrings out of my Adidas shelltops, Walked This Way, and wore one of these.

Yeah, I know. Strong.

Five Ways to Tell if You Were Born in the 70s (#1)

You can't fool me.

You think you're old school, but you're not really old school, and I can prove it.If you can remember four of these five things, I might let you slide.

• Burger Chef - This was the burger joint of my youth. Nicer than McDonald's, not as good as Red Barn (mentioned here), but Red Barn served a wider variety of food. Burger Chef and his sidekick Jeff also gave away kick-ass toys with their fun meals.

• The Green Machine - Made a Big Wheel look like a Baby Bjorn with wheels. The Green Machine was hardcore. Two levers to steer the back wheels. Transportation to the emergency room sold separately.

• ABC Saturday nights - Spend all day playing with your friends, and get in by 9 to watch the Love Boat, followed up by Fantasy Island. The Plane! The Plane! (I mean, Tatoo must have worked at that resort for several years, yet he was always excited when the plane showed up - like he'd never seen a plane before)

• Wearing your shoes out of the shoe store - I don't think people do this any more. I remember my mom buying me a pair of Puma Clydes. Without hesitation, I put my old pro-keds in the Puma box and wore those new joints home.

• Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince, "Live at Union Square" - Clearly a hip-hop touchstone. It's eerie to listen to a 17-year old Will Smith warm up the crowd. He couldn't have had any idea how large he'd become.

How'd you do?